


Hogwarts House Sorting Quiz

by Yesimawriter



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Gryffindor, Hogwarts House Sorting, Hufflepuff, M/M, Ravenclaw, Slytherin
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-20
Updated: 2020-05-20
Packaged: 2021-03-02 19:27:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,120
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24292063
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Yesimawriter/pseuds/Yesimawriter
Summary: The one where Harry and Draco take a Hogwarts house sorting quiz and the results turn out to be unexpected.
Relationships: Draco Malfoy/Harry Potter
Comments: 22
Kudos: 158





	Hogwarts House Sorting Quiz

**Author's Note:**

> I picked up this prompt from our discord channel given by the lovely @marsbar/AhaMarimbas which was originally a tumblr post by accio-shitpost. So here it is!

Draco’s eyes slid from the pages of the latest Wizarding World fashion magazine to Harry. Potter had groaned for the fifth time in a span of fifteen minutes and he kept mumbling to himself about how _‘this couldn’t be right’_. It seemed like the perfect time for Draco to interfere.

He sighed and stood up, approaching Harry, who had balled up his hand into a fist and was furiously blinking at the laptop screen while adjusting his glasses with his other hand.

“Potter, what are you doing?” Draco asked. He sat down leaning into Harry and the laptop screen.

Harry startled at Draco’s words and his sudden intrusion, jumping slightly and quickly shutting off his laptop. “Nothing,” Harry responded, blinking harder.

Draco straightened up in surprise, not expecting Potter to be doing anything that would require such a response. “Potter,” he said.

“It was really nothing, Draco,” Harry tried to convince him. “I was just taking a quiz, that’s all.”

Draco raised an eyebrow. A quiz? “About what, in particular?” Draco asked, leaning into Harry again. But this time, he reached out to turn on the laptop.

“Draco, honestly-” Harry started to say, as the laptop screen brightened, and it showed which quiz Harry had been taking.

A feeling of amusement passed through Draco as he turned to Harry. “What Hogwarts House are you? –The Ultimate Sorting Hat Quiz.” Draco resisted the urge to laugh as he read the title of the quiz. “ _Harry_ ,” he huffed out, a smile growing on his face. “What is _this?_ ”

Harry opened his mouth to explain but it was too late, Draco had grabbed hold of the laptop and was scrolling down it. Harry held his breath, knowing what Draco would find there.

“Oh look,” Draco said, as he continued to scroll down, “you seem to have completed the quiz, and it’s even showing the results. Let us see which house you are in. You are definitely not a Ravenclaw…. maybe a Hufflepuff? You would not be this upset if your results had shown that you’re a Gryffindor.”

Draco’s musings stopped as the results showed on the screen and he froze completely. The words ‘ _Congratulations Harry Potter_ _you are sorted into Slytherin’_ showed on the screen.

“I know,” Harry spoke up after a few moments of silence. He frowned at the screen. “I don’t believe it either.”

Suddenly, the laptop started to shake, and it took Harry a moment to realise that it was because Draco was shaking too. “This is why you seemed so angry and frustrated,” he managed to say.

“Well, of course! Wouldn’t you feel the same way, if you took the quiz and it showed you another house?!” Harry exclaimed, throwing his hands in the air.

“You- it says you re-took the quiz five times!” Draco said, promptly before he completely lost it.

He pushed the laptop away from himself and laughed so hard that he started wheezing. Potter was a Slytherin! At least that is what the quiz was telling him. Draco would have been slightly jealous of whatever had riled Potter up so much, thinking of it as a sure competitor, if it had been anything other than an unreliable Hogwarts house sorting quiz probably made by some teenager for that exact reason.

“Draco!” Harry glared at him.

Taking a deep breath and wiping the tears from his eyes, Draco finally met Harry’s gaze. “It wouldn’t matter to me what house some stupid quiz told me I belonged in, Potter. I know that I am a Slytherin and you most certainly are not one,” Draco said, folding his hands.

“Fine,” Harry said, pushing the laptop back into Draco’s lap. “Why don’t you take the quiz then? We’ll see which house you get sorted into.”

Draco scoffed at him, confidently typing his name into the blank space before starting the quiz.

“What if you get sorted into _Hufflepuff_?” Harry needled him. Draco skillfully ignored him “Or worse-” Harry leaned in and whispered in his ear, “- _Gryffindor?_ ”

“Oh, would you shut up, Potter? Don’t distract me!” Draco swatted at him, making Harry chuckle.

“Alright, alright. Let’s see what you get.”

Harry scooted closer to Draco and put his head on Draco’s shoulder. For a few minutes, there was no noise except for the clicking of the mouse and the soft breathing of Harry up Draco’s neck.

Harry focused his attention on the laptop as Draco submitted his answers and they both waited with baited breaths for the results.

Draco’s eyes widened, an expression of disbelief crossing his features as his face paled. Harry’s jaw dropped. Neither of them spoke for a few seconds until—

“Fuck.” Draco muttered.

“Oh my god!” Harry said, and then he turned to look at Draco. Short bursts of laughter fell out of his mouth. “ _Oh my—”_

“Don’t you dare, Potter! Don’t you fucking _dare._ ” Draco warned.

On the screen in front of them, the results were shown. In bright capital letters, they announced—

‘ _You have been caught Draco Malfoy. You are not a Wizard!_

_You are a Muggle trying to take this quiz despite knowing nothing about the Wizarding World in the hopes that you might have an ounce of magic in you and might get sorted into the house of your choosing. Unfortunately, you do not have any sort of magic in you which means that getting sorted into a Hogwarts house is as impossible for you as it to fly on a broom.’_

“I told you so!” Harry said, getting off the bed. He did not want to risk getting swatted by Draco again. “I told you!”

“Shut up, Potter,” Draco said and frantically began to hit random keys on the keyboard. “How do I retake the test? How do I delete this result so _nobody_ will be able to see it?”

Harry shook his head with a small smile on his face and pushed Draco’s hand away. Draco was adorable like this. “Leave it be. The results probably only say this because you didn’t choose truthfully. You only chose answers that would result in you being sorted into Slytherin.”

Draco huffed out a breath and shut the laptop a bit forcefully, muttering to himself about the _stupid_ laptop and _stupid_ muggle technology and how he hated all of it. How dare it call _him_ a muggle? The betrayal!

As Draco turned away and began to get up, Harry chuckled lightly, holding Draco’s arm and pulling him down. He looked fondly at Draco.

“Potter, what-?”

“Stay, Draco?” Harry asked, and smiled at Draco again.

Draco’s breath hitched in his throat, his anger from the quiz results immediately dissolving. He sat down and turned to Potter, murmuring, “I will,” as Harry gently kissed him.


End file.
